ANNA: Well I’m trapped in this box like my house is damn Fort Knox, I’m doing my best, but I’m on house arrest. I finally got this black market Mac piece of shit, a relic from 2006, pray that my parents don’t see it. I can’t bear staying at home with my little brother alone, he just sits there and whines asking for more TV time. I can’t believe just after our one little bust that somehow he’s the child they trust… I guess I’d better believe it But I can’t complain, I’m managing. Though my dad’s ashamed, I’m managing. I’m just happy to see you two at the end of the week! SOFIA: What about you Jord? JORDY: Well I’ve been working away at the lame board game cafe, it’s not always so bad but since they hired that guy SOFIA/ANNA: Chad? Yes, he’s the one who took away all the fun! He insists no D and D until we’re done all the cleaning. ANNA: Lame. SOFIA: Ugh, Chad’s the worst! JORDY: I’ve saved up about three thou which to be honest, before now it seemed impossible, something that I’d never pull off. Hard work it pays just like my aunt Betty says but really I’ve got ways and ways to go ‘til I have tuition. But I can’t complain, I’m managing. Though Chad’s a drag, I’m managing. I’m just happy to see you two at the end of the week! ANNA: Sofia! You’re the one actually at Wellington, come on! I want to hear all the gos. JORDY: Yeah there must be something! Like sorority news or… classes? SOFIA: Are you guys sure you wanna hear about that? It’s just boring college stuff… Well, let me see here, it’s hard to remember, this week it went by in a flash. Monday was dancing and Tuesday was fencing and Wednesday I went for a splash! I started diving at the Wellington pool, it is ah-mazing! And Thursday, don’t get me started on Thursday Everything happens on Thursday - ANNA/JORDY: Like what? SOFIA: Like swim club, not to mention volunteering at the local retirees’ home! I’ve been directing them in an amateur production of Jesus Christ Superstar! It’s gonna look great for extra credit. ANNA: Wow… JORDY: Siiiiick… SOFIA: But I can’t complain, I’m managing. Though I’m far away, I’m managing. I’m just happy to see you two! ANNA/JORDY: We’re happy to see you too! ALL: We’re happy to see you too at the end of the week! ANNA: Alright guys I gotta head SOFIA: Where do you think you’re going? ANNA: It’s the survivor finale tonight! SOFIA: You know we have to do the handshake before we say goodbye! JORDY: I dunno… it’s just, it’s… we’re far away and it’s late… I gotta work tomorrow, it’s gonna be lame! SOFIA: It’s tradition! You guys! You said that me going to college wouldn’t let us drift and this is what we do! ANNA/Jordy: …Fine… (The trio performs an online version of an adorable best friends handshake) JORDY: Ahh! ANNA: Ahh! Sofia: Ahh!

SOFIA: Jordy why’d you have to go and do this?! You know that Anna cannot keep her cool! No offence. I will admit that for a tech you’ve impressed. Now call it off! Come on out! Take a bow! You’ve played us for the fools. Dontcha think this is a little selfish, Jord? How long will you draw this out before you get bored? By the time you get back for your big reveal Anna’s heart attack will be the new ordeal. ANNA: A sign of life, a flicker of your classic wit... Send an emoji, post a story, we’ll be done with it! It’s that simple, Jord, to put your friends at ease. Remember us, your handshake pals, don’t do this to us please- he’s typing! Thank god he’s typing! What could that mean? SOFIA: It means he’s typing. ANNA: Just say something, oh Jord, say something! Give us relief, just say something! ANNA/SOF: Those three damn dots ANNA: There’s nothing crueller than those BOTH: three damn dots SOFIA: Not even tooth extraction? BOTH: Three damn dots ANNA: Hell hath no fury like a woman when she sees those three damn BOTH: dots! Oh oh oh ohhhhhh. ANNA: But they mean he’s breathing. Praise be! He’s breathing! SOFIA: Are you crazy? Of course he’s breathing. ANNA: Ugh, still nothing, just clink send! Still nothing… Bring us some peace. Still nothing… ANNA/SOF: Those three damn dots... ANNA: There’s nothing crueller than those BOTH: three damn dots... SOFIA: Not even water boarding? BOTH: Three damn dots... ANNA: Hell hath no fury like a BOTH: woman when she sees those three damn dots! Oh oh oh oh ... ANNA: Oh my god Jordy… Help?! SOFIA: Do you think he’s… serious? ANNA: I hope not. SOFIA: Oh my god… maybe this is for real. Maybe we should be worried. I was wrong. ANNA: Doncha think this is a little selfish, Jord? How long will you draw this out until you get bored? SOFIA: Should we be worried or is this some stupid gag? ANNA: He’ll be the cover boy of Monday’s local rag SOFIA: Anna don’t panic we should keep our heads on straight. I have experience from last year’s high school play. I was the lead, I played a bold detective type! How different could it be from solving real crimes? We’ll find you, Jordy, we’ll find you We’ll set you free, we’ll find you Don’t you worry, Jord, don’t you worry Just count on me - well us - don’t worry Where are those three damn dots? ANNA: What should we do? Should we go look for him? SOFIA: It’s already almost midnight… I just don’t know that there’s much more we can do tonight. Maybe we should just get some rest and start looking in the morning. I never thought I’d miss those BOTH: three damn dots…

SOFIA: Come on let’s take a trip to psychedelic bay I know it might seem scary, Anna, but it’s gonna be ok. Just sit back and relax. And sink into the wave, Melt into the present moment, become one with the haze (interlude) Oooooo Oooooo (etc) JORDY: Come on along with me to psychotropic beach I know it hasn’t kicked in just yet but we took 8 grams each. ANNA: But what’s a little more? Just 1, 2, 3, 4 JORDY: Fuck it. ANNA: …5 ALL: Wooooo! ANNA: All the fear has slipped away and I feel fine SOF/JORDY High. ANNA: fine. SOF/JORD: high ANNA: Fine. SOF/JORD: HIGH ANNA: I’m HIIIIIGHHHHHHHH (interlude) ALL: Ahhh Ahhh (etc) ANNA: What is there to say, I’m feeling okay I see the wind, I hear the trees, I taste the sun Oh why was I so scared? So naive and unaware I shoulda known, that I’d love to be, that I’d love to be so HIIIGHHHHHHHH (interlude) ALL: Ahhh Ahhh (etc) JORDY: Come on let’s take a trip to psychedelic bay. SOFIA: Don’t wanna say I told you so but… ANNA/JORDY: … Say it. SOFIA: Isn’t this parfait? SOFIA: Fuck! ANNA: The cops. JORDY: Ruh Roh… ALL: Oo-oo-oo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oooo

JORDY: Is anyone there? How long has it been? Where am I? Do my friends even care? I don’t know where I am, can’t tell where I am. I don’t know! I don’t know! I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t… NO… no. Too impersonal. Take 34. They’re going to pay. Yeah… right? I mean why wouldn’t they? Yes any second the transfer is coming my way And I wonder should I feel remorse? Well of course- but instead I feel stressed let’s refresh- nothing?! Well that’s some damn nerve an unexpected curveball If they don’t pay… how does this end? I thought we were friends… Fine! So let’s crank it up a notch we’ll kick the situation in the crotch a hostage tape will do that nicely! Try to ignore me on the floor all bound in chains if I had chains! Fuck. Maybe a voice distorter, hard to hit record with my hands tied behind me, should I try the gag? (unintelligible) No that sucks! So let’s... change it up? Like a personal plea. Take 34 B... Don’t you worry about me Though I’m all a-low-oo-wone I want you to go on The memories The friendship I believe was true… So true. So once I’m gone, you must move on- no grief should you go through. Sofia, I love ya. Anna, I love you too. I understand that fifty thousand one hundred and ninety two Canadian Dollars... is much too much too pay a man his brilliant plan, must not commandya I won’t cave- no no no- neither should you! Oh motherfucker how long has my background been like that?! … still it’s better… And they say they’re the ones who act! But still what does it lack… My note had threats,and pics and then some… and I don’t even get a LOL so Ransom! Well you’ve pushed me too the brink, the clock is gonna tick, until I get what I deserve ANNA: Sofia now! JORDY: They need one final push, so do not be a wuss, it’s crazy but it’s not absurd SOFIA: I’m trying, calm down! JORDY: To take a leap into a new zone of committing hard to get my final prize. The time is now you know what must be done, just hold breath and close your fucking eyes. ANNA/SOF: It’s sending! JORDY: If they don’t think it’s real, give them something to feel and make their face go pale They won’t send the dough? Send a toe in the mail! SOFIA: Sent! JORDY: Oh holy shit holy shit they sent it?- ahhh! Ok… Breathe. Breathe breathe breathe breathe. (JORDY catches his breath and begins to laugh and laugh and laugh) JORDY: LOL so ransom SOFIA: So ransom! ANNA: SO ransom!

SOFIA: It’s nothing… You’re being crazy it’s nothing… I mean seriously. They’re both just busy and we’re so far away. All of this is weirdness it's... just nothing. Give me relief... just say something... Those three damn dots. There’s nothing crueller than those three damn dots...

SOFIA: Of course it was scary. Of course it was hard. But when a fellow human being’s in danger... I just can’t disregard. What it is that we owe. What we owe to each other. And there’s no price tag for that we can’t over come. I’m not a hero. I just acted like one. Of course it was risky. Of course now I’m on the line. But if a kidnapper now knows my home address... I promise I’ll be fine. 'Cause I didn’t do Something you wouldn’t have done! Anyone with fifty thousand dollars can be a hero If you just act like one. When I knew that my friend was truly in danger I had to act And if and when I find myself here again, I’ll know how to... react And even if we’d been strangers, down on our luck Regardless race, age or gender- though that’s a construct Now matter how for away you gotta keep your friends stuck in your heart… No matter how far… Sorry, what was I saying? Maybe it’s unrealistic… Maybe my world’s just my own…. Maybe it isn’t always simple, clear, and easy... I know, I wouldn’t know. But I like to think… No I have to believe. That if I’m always there for someone else, someone will be there for me.

JORDY: Well... you... re...member my Aunt? The one who wear’s all the pant-suits? Well she was loaded with cash, but now she’s cremated ashes… SOFIA: Oh no! ANNA: Jordy… JORDY: And yes I am sad. So very very very sad. But the money that she had... I inherited it? SOFIA: Oh man... I mean, I'm sorry... but congratulations? JORDY: Well... she was old! SOFIA: Jordy that is insane… and it’s enough? JORDY: Enough to pay! All tuitions and fee’s! ANNA: I mean god what odd’s are these? JORDY: Just enough! To the dollar! ANNA: Well not to the EXACT dollar JORDY: I mean- ANNA: I’ll tell you what he means… Sof it’s happening! We’re both managing! It took one whole year, but now we’re managing. JORDY/ANNA: And now we’re happy to see you too! SOPHIA: Wait? What? Tell me what’s happening or do I not I wanna know… Wait this thought is dangerous so think it through. Jordy: I think she knows Anna: She doesn’t know Jordy: She know’s. Anna: Fuck you Jordy: FUCK YOU SOFIA: On one hand it’s crazy to think they could… Anna how long did you know?! Jordy shrewd little prankster how far did you let this one go? ANNA: How could you blow this Jordy? JORDY: So this is my fault then? SOFIA: I think my friends are fucking criminals… ANNA: You blew the whole plan! JORDY: I AM your whole plan! SOFIA: Just breathe out, just breathe in, it can’t be what you think. ANNA: She’s calling back. JORDY: Oh shit… ANNA: oh shit… SOPHIA: You’re being crazy… you’re tired, far away and uninspired. But fuck it I’m suspicious as hell! God do I think I know what I might think I simply don’t wanna know JORDY/ANNA: we’re happy to see you too! SOFIA: Are they happy to see me too... JORDY/ANNA: We’re happy to see you! SOFIA: just tell me the truth! ANNA: The truth about what? SOFIA: The truth about… about… Never mind. JORDY: I actually have to run. Picked up an extra shift tonight. ANNA: And my dad is being a real monster this weekend so... better put in some family time. JORDY: Next week though. ANNA: Next week! Sophia: Yeah... next week. THE END... ?